2002 Mascot Grand National

It was the Oldham Chronicle's fault. September 2001, they featured an article about the upcoming Mascot Grand National and Oldham Athletic's entrant Chaddy the Owl. This inspired misfortu.net's own Russ, Rob and Glenn into watching it on Grandstand and falling about laughing at the spectacle.
"Next year, we must go and watch it live" they said. So this is the tale of what happened when misfortu.net visited Huntingdon Racecourse to view the 2002 National.

Arriving early at the course, we parked in the wrong field and wandered around trying to find the entrance. Somehow we found ourselves in the mascot training area and also by the course rail without paying. Result! Russ snaffled a programme while Rob took some shots of the runners.

We saw Mr & Mrs Magpie from Notts County who made a lovely couple in their matching black + white outfits. We got a shock when Mrs M removed her head to expose a chubby bloke with thinning hair. Even more disturbing was when Mr M revealed himself to be an almost identical twin! All too reminiscent of Deliverance (except with inbreeding birds).

The City Gent from Bradford sported a fine head of greasy grey hair - unfortunately all his own. He made a nice political statement, highlighting City's parlous financial health by carrying an IV drip. He then unleashed a pair of comedy testicles from the bottom of his shorts. Is this what passes for a gentlemen in West Yorkshire?

The Thunderbug came all the way from Tampa Bay to take part in the race. He could have used jetlag as an excuse but as soon as the head went on, the performance started. He had a pat on the head for everyone, which you will notice from a six foot insect. He also danced on the top of the 10ft wall surrounding the racecourse, which with a padded arse and comedy feet was inviting disaster. He also had a remarkable turn of speed for a man with such a large arse - ask Alan Shearer how hard that is.

After the parade, the mascots walked up the course to the start-line. Sky Blue Sam, Coventry's elephantine mascot, managed to trip and fall over a hurdle, causing his odds trackside to slip out further. This was compounded by Lofty the Lion, who stood on the hurdle and executed a perfect elbow drop which knocked Sam's head clean off. You don't get that in the WWF.

As Catalina (model from TFI Friday and sundry lad's mags) tottered up to start the race, Russ waved to encourage Chaddy who was behind her. Can a girl's career get any lower than this - ignored for a six foot owl?

At the start line, there was a certain amount of jockeying (ha!) for position. Flagged underway by Catalina, there is nothing else in this world like watching over 80 cartoon-like creatures hurtling down the track towards you. Thankfully. There were several fallers and the track became littered with forlorn outsize boots. Benny Buck from Telford might have improved upon last season's sixteenth position, but stopped at one point to pose for a photo from the crowd.
Exeter City - the Spartans - were confusingly represented by the goddess Athena [patron deity of the rival city-state Athens - history ed]. This busty blonde's pristine white robe and high heels were not suited to the steeplechase and she (and her Greek warrior bodyguard) finished a distant last.

But the day could only belong to one anthropomorphic representation. Chaddy the Owl finished third and second in previous years, but this year there was no stopping him and he led from the start. Our avian hero flew away from the pack to complete his set of medals, ahead of Harriet Hornet and Phoney Pony in the podium places.
Will he be able to retain his title? misfortu.net will be there next year to keep you informed.

Further info

The Mascot Grand National was first held in 1999 and was the brainchild of the manager of Huntingdon Race Course. It is now an annual event, traditionally run the last Sunday of September. The race is over 1 furlong (that's 200 metres to you youngsters) and 6 hurdles. For a complete history and results from all races why not got to the official website which is the self appointed Finest Website In All Christendom (whose owners clearly haven't seen misfortu.net or they'd surely modify their claims)

Another Mascot Grand National report can be found at one of our cometitors websites, BBC Sport who also touch on the unwarranted post-race controversy.

And yes, now I am just writing in a vain attempt to get the words down to the same level as the pictures ;->